The following podcast really resonated with me and our
discussion of disabled culture this week, entitled “A Life Defined Not By Disability, But Love”.
I really suggest that you listen
to the short 3 minute audio clip as well so you can hear the interview between
mother Bonnie Brown and her 15 year old daughter Myra. It’s quite an emotional
recording… even the narrator chokes up at the end.
Bonnie Brown undeniably overcame
a lot of obstacles in raising her daughter. She is a single mom, a racial
minority, a woman, and disabled. She is a part of a number of marginalized
groups in society who suffer from many types of prejudice, and members of these
groups often have to work a lot harder to get to the same places as groups that
are less discriminated against in our society. However, the point that really
struck a cord for me was the commentary about what has been the hardest and
biggest challenge for Bonnie.
“What’s the hardest thing you’ve
overcome?” asks Myra
“Being hurt from people,” replies
Bonnie. “Not physically, but…”
“Like emotionally?” inquires
Myra.
Myra goes on to explain how
people blatantly stare at her mother sometimes when they go out on the street,
and how more than anything, this has been the biggest hurdle that her mother
has had to overcome.
This ties in with the discussion
of ablelism and the fact that “the non-disabled gaze for disabled people is an
experience of power relations playing out on the surface of the body” (Loja,
Costa et al 5). This story made me realize that staring at someone with a
disability is really the most condescending and harmful thing that you could
do. Although I can’t imagine I’ve ever intentionally, rudely
stared at a person with a disability, I did begin to wonder… have I ever extended
a gaze of curiosity or sympathy when I see someone with a disability that seems
painful or challenging? Am I guilty of that hurtful second-glance or unintentionally
enabling the “demeaning power of pity” (4)? For me, this story really
highlights the importance to make sure to think twice before looking twice when
you see someone with a disability.
After reading that article I also became more conscious about the way I interact with and acknowledge those with disabilities. I think our society just isn’t sure what is appropriate. Julie brought up a really great point in class last night- our generation has been much more integrated than our parents’ generation, and the generation after us will be even more integrated and exposed to persons with various disabilities. Similar to the concept of growing up in a colorblind society, I think that having a disability will slowly become less of a distinguishing characteristic and become more ‘accepted’, for lack of a better word. But, as with race and other marginalized groups, it’s important to recognize that minority groups have had a long and tumultuous history fighting for equal opportunity and rights and we can’t discount that history.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Maggie, I'm not sure we always know what is the socially acceptable thing to do, or how to react. I liked when Julie said in class that socially acceptable questions, like "did you see that movie?" or "did you drive here?", are okay to ask somebody with a disability. But, this story is an important lesson for us all.
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