Sunday, March 10, 2013

Digital Era - Redefining Etiquette

http://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/10/etiquette-redefined-in-the-digital-age/

I don't like voice messages I'll admit that, but I do like it when someone whom I am communicating with either via text or email follows up with me to close out the conversation with a "thanks!" I don't see it being such a bother as this author claims it is, what's wrong with keep some traditional practices alive? To me, there's nothing more irritating then missing a call and not having a message either text, voice, or email saying who they are and what they wanted (unless it was a pocket dial!) But there's also something to be said when I send a client an email with some work I've done for them or contacted a friend to say hi hope you're well, and I don't get the respect in return from them to say "thank you" "got your email" etc.

I think we're acquired one too many ways of communicating and reaching someone, and for the end user it can become overwhelming to be contacted so easily by so many different means. I was listening to a friend complain the other day that a girl he wanted to take out wouldn't get back to him - he said he called and left a voice message... and when some time passed and he didn't hear back he sent her a text, followed up by some online communication - Well no wonder she's avoiding you, you're smothering her with messages!
I think since there are so many different ways of communicating and reaching someone we can't sometimes decide what's best or most efficient so we just use them all. And in a way it takes away from our personal space. We may be able to physically remove ourselves from others but we're still all being sought after in this digital world - it's just too much.

I find it overwhelming to have four email accounts, a facebook, a phone, linkedin, etc. I feel pressure in my head - almost claustrophobic - when I spend time trying to maintain and correspond through so many different outlets. I am to the point where when I get a text message that is more then a few words long I just respond by calling the person. And oddly enough if they answer they are always very awkward because we're getting to the point where vocal communication is a way of the past. I still call my parents weekly to talk - if I contact them through email or social media it just feels not genuine, disrespectful, not-personal. We should be careful to not lose sight of the significance in personal and intentional interaction.

Kristina and I presented to the class ways in which media can share empathy, good stories, inspiration for kinds acts etc.. and I do believe that's true. But it can also make us all hermits if we're not careful. If someone takes the time to send you an email that simply says "Thank You" I don't think that's really taking away moments of your life. If someone leaves you a voice message, check it.. and then maybe direct them to better ways to contact you in the future. Or shut off your voice message option on your phone - you can do that. I think what needs to be better established are ways we want to be communicated by. I tell clients to always contact me through email because more days I just don't have the ability to answer my phone and talk. I tell my parents if they want to reach me, call me.. and the same with my friends. I will check messages on accounts like FB or Linkedin and then usually write back and let the person know a better way of communicating with me. I found this type of management has allowed me not to be so overwhelmed throughout my day. And it gives me space that is needed.

How do you feel about this author's article and the many ways in which we can be reached? Is it about changing etiquette or do we just need to manage our outlets better? 

1 comment:

  1. Interesting article, thanks for sharing Anne! I agree with your assessment of the article - these various methods of communications that we use with others, and have ourselves, can often be very overwhelming and almost big-brothery in a sense. I often feel that being accessible in so many ways - Facebook, Twitter, text, phone, Gmail, etc - compounds the stress and expectations of keeping up communications with others. While all of these mediums make it easier to talk to friends, family, and coworkers, it also brings on the burden of instantaneous communication. For example, I have my iPhone connected to my work email account, and often feel expected to reply to emails IMMEDIATELY after receiving them, whether at work or not, and especially if others on the email are doing the same. Even on vacation I often find myself checking my phone and replying to emails - including this summer, when I ended up having to call DU to register for class while traveling in Thailand!

    I agree with the author's conclusion of considering one's audience. While my grandmother has a cell phone (granted it is a 2004-era razr phone, but she IS 94 years old), but I never call it because I know it is much easier for her to talk from her home phone. She also always listens to voicemails - versus someone like me who often hates voicemails that simply say "call me back." Indeed, it is important not to lose sight of actual face-to-face interaction; nothing makes up for this type of communication (especially when it comes to nonverbal cues, which cannot really be communicated via text, email, etc). The human experience, human emotions and relationships are based on real, "live" communication, something I believe could never be replaced.

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