Cry Your Way to the Top

In case we hadn’t heard enough about Sheryl Sandberg’s new book…

Cry Your Way to the Top, Ladies

In a recent speech (also covered here), Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg, author of the new controversial novel Lean In, discussed her career success – and that part of it could be attributed to crying at the workplace. While making a plea for business leaders to be empathetic, and get to know “the real you”, she said the following:

“I’ve cried at work. I've told people I've cried at work. And it's been reported in the press that Sheryl Sandberg cried on Mark Zuckerberg's shoulder, which is not exactly what happened. I talk about my hopes and fears and ask people about theirs. I try to be myself. Honest about my strengths and weaknesses and I encourage others to do the same. It is all professional and it is all personal, all at the very same time.”

I found this idea to be in intriguing on a few levels, but mainly on the level of female identity, both in its appearance and within self. While Ms. Sandberg has been “able” to cry at work – why is this something that needs to be discussed with women, specifically? Or is this something more specific to Ms. Sandberg’s career, something that cannot necessarily be applied to every woman’s working world? Another novel published two years ago by Kelly Cutrone, a PR exec infamous on reality TV for her mentorship of Lauren Conrad, has also addressed this issue, in the title alone: If You Have to Cry, Go Outside. The book goes into detail about how crying should not be at the workplace, that it is personal and should not be something associated with your professional identity.  So whose perception is more valid? Which identity is better?

This also made me think of the case we read about Sarah Palin, who in the television coverage during the first week of her Vice Presidential run, had her identity represented in a variety of ways. As Harp et.al explained, “While Palin at times performs and is constructed as masculine, Palin’s gender is normalized (feminized) as her masculine performance is mixed with a normative feminine identity. The indication is that women are allowed to be tough as long as they continue to fit stereotypical notions of femininity” (305). This hybrid identity can be applied to women as well in the workplace – crying when appropriate, when it feels necessary, or comfortable, and when a woman accepts that it may then be associated with her at work.

Women today face many identity issues, especially in the working world, and in the end, a hybrid identity looks like it is the best option for women to maintain their success – but what can be done about this culture in the workplace?